Powerless or Powerful?

I was reading a book on vacation and it quoted a great man and the quote really struck a cord with me.  Here is my thoughts on this.


Have you ever felt bad for doing something well?  

Like you should apologize or make excuses as to why you did well so you wouldn’t make others feel uncomfortable or bad?

gladiators 198x300 Powerless or Powerful?Have you ever worked really hard to achieve something to have someone excuse it away using phrases like:

“That’s nice but wait until you are older.  I’d like to see you try it then.”

“Wait until you are married longer and see if you still feel that way about her/him.”

“That’s easy for you because you are naturally skinny.”

“That’s great you have so much extra time to do that.”

Our Clients experience this all the time.  They have defied their social and family dynamics and decided they were done playing the role of the fat friend or the depressed underachiever.  They lost weight and gained heaps of confidence.

This messes with people around them and they begin to feel a pressure to be better or greater.  Often times the initial reaction is not what our clients expect.

Instead of a massive congratulations and an “I’m proud of you” or “You’re so inspiring”, they get put down and questioned.  “Should you really be losing weight?”  “Yeah, but you don’t get to have any fun.”

I say CELEBRATE these moments!

It is in these moments you are having an effect on them!

They are feeling pressure to be better!


And actually they are grieving.

The are grieving life as it used to be.  (maybe they were the pretty one)

They are grieving their current condition.

They are faced with a three part choice.

  1. Life with this new discontentment and be depressed and unhappy.
  2. Pull YOU back down so they can feel superior to you.
  3. Rise up and join you in this quest to be their best.

The first two options are usually reactions and they may not even consciously realize what they are doing.  The last option takes a decision a hard decision at that.  A decision they that they might make if you don’t attack back.

My Tips:

Be Loving – Being aggressive back won’t help them rise up.

Be unapologetic – do not be lowered by their reaction, do not apologize for your greatness.


I will leave you with the quote that inspired this rant:


nelson mandela 1 Powerless or Powerful?“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?”  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Nelsen Mandela



Posted in Featured, Life Without Walls, Train your Brain by talltrainer | 4 Comments


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